Sam Ballardisms

A collection of Dad's more memorable lines:

"If it weren't for bad luck we'd have no luck at all."

"There's only two kinds of people in the world - officers and enlisted men."

"When I salute and say 'yes sir' I'm spelling that 'cur' in my mind."

"During the depression I called the theater and asked what time the movie was showing. They asked me 'what time can you get here?"

"How do you spell rat? Like in put that thing down rat cheer."

"A duck wakes up in a new world every day."

"I didn't know that man was a drinker until one day I saw him sober."

"I've been to two county fairs and a hog killing and I ain't never seen anything like that."

"When you're driving you have to treat everyone on the road like they just escaped from a mental institution."